on friendships in your 30s

(the lie Sex and the City told me and how to *actually* maintain your friendships)

Sex and the City lied to me. Okay, the show lied about a lot of things. We all know that it’s ridiculous to think that someone who wrote one measly column a week could afford a closet full of Manolo Blahniks…

But the lie that’s really stuck out to me as I’ve gotten older? The idea that there is a friend group of women in their 30s and 40s that:

• hang out all the time

• are all single

• all live in NYC.

When I first watched the show the summer I was 18 and on the verge of moving to NYC, I thought that would be my future. I’d eventually be a sort of Carrie Bradshaw in my early 30s hanging out all the time with my Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha.

The reality? WAY different. But more on that in a second…

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I started and finished Love, Me by Jessica Saunders which comes out in January 2024. Lately, my brain can’t handle anything too heavy on the reading front and this book was perfect.

Rachel is a lawyer and mother of two. Her life and marriage get totally thrown for a loop when racy photos of her and her high school boyfriend, a now very famous celebrity, get leaked.

While this book does have romantic elements, I loved that it was more about the journey the main character goes on to figure out who she is now and what it is she really wants.

I also started reading the new Sophie Cousens book The Good Part which has been sold to me as a modern take on 13 Going on 30… but it’s a 26-year-old wanting to skip to the part of her life where things get better.

I’ve been on a total podcast kick lately. Some shows I’ve been loving lately:

• A Thing Or Two — Two best friends Claire and Erica talk about a grab bag of topics every week from the romance books they’re crushing on to cute clogs to wear in the rain

• Bad on Paper — Hosts Becca and Olivia chat about all things, books, writing, and random topics in between.

• Books, Beach, and Beyond — A new podcast from authors Elin Hilderbrand and Tim Ehrenberg where they chat candidly with authors

• Here & There — A podcast about being in your 30s by one of my good friends, Jordan

• Put Into Words — A recent relaunch of one of my favorite podcasts, Gal Pals, where hosts Georgie and Ingrid deep dive into different topics like nostalgia and transitions.

• Read with Jenna — A book-focused podcast with Jenna Bush

• Seeing Other People — A dating and relationships-focused podcast from Ilana Dunn

• Welcome to Group Therapy — A mental health podcast hosted by four therapists

I know I mentioned this last week and it’s weird to say but I’m in my hard-boiled eggs era. Ever since buying a hard-boiled egg maker (GAMECHANGER!) I can’t stop making them as a mid-morning snack after working out. I’ve been enjoying them medium-boiled with a few tortilla chips to sop up the yolks. Obsessed.

I am deeply invested in the Golden Bachelor. I’ve never watched anything related to The Bachelor before, but now I get it.

By the time you get this email a new episode will have dropped and either I’ll look right or dumb, but I just watched the hometown visits episode and I’m honestly torn if he’s going to pick Theresa or Faith. I kind of think it’s going to be Faith based on how he was with her family, and he only kind of alluded to loving Theresa. But I also know it’s reality TV so everything they’re showing us is kind of fake and the goal is to create tension.

Who would you pick if you were Gerry?

I’m back to renting on Nuuly this month (← get $20 off your first month!) and am loving this super soft sweater

Leaning into what I call “cozy season.” I will always be a summer girl, through and through, but I’m learning to love the more cozy aspects of fall. Last weekend I spent one of the mornings curled up with my book, a blanket, and a homemade oat milk latte and it was lovely.

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Now back to the lie Sex and the City told me…