I love doing things alone.
But I realize that’s not the case for a lot of people. And I get that — it can take some getting used to.
Maybe it’s the former fitness instructor in me, but I like to think of doing things alone as a muscle. It’s something you have to strengthen. At first, it might feel challenging and uncomfortable. Over time, the muscle becomes stronger. What used to feel clunky feels more natural. I hope that analogy made sense…
So, let’s talk about how to “strengthen that muscle” and become more comfortable doing things solo.
Here’s what I want you to know about doing things alone:
No one is paying attention to you.
I mentioned this in a recent reel, but I really really mean it. Most people are so caught up in doing their own thing that they aren’t paying attention to you.
Once in a while, someone will say “Oh, you’re on your own?” at a concert or theater. Usually, I say “Yeah” if it’s a scenario where I feel safe. Then the conversation often dies after that. It’s not a big deal.
Start small.
If doing things solo feels intimidating, start small. Maybe it’s taking your book to a coffee shop on a Saturday. Then work your wait up to feeling comfortable seeing that movie you’ve been dying to see in the middle of the day on a Sunday. Remember my muscle analogy! Start to work your way up to bigger things like solo travel.
Wear headphones.
When I was in London traveling solo, I liked listening to podcasts while I was dining alone. I know some people want to chat with others when they’re eating alone — that’s not my vibe as an introvert. I find when I have my AirPods in, people never bother me.
If you’re going to a concert alone…
Be safe. This should go without me saying it, but if you’re alone, stay alert. I’m not a big drinker to begin with, but especially so when I’m on alone at a concert.
I like to go as late as possible. There can be a lot of “downtime” at a concert. If I don’t care about the opening band, I’ll time it so that I’m arriving close to when the artist is supposed to go on. For big artist, you can gauge start times on Setlist.fm. Sometimes venues will tell you this info.
Walk around. I like to walk laps around the venue in between sets. I feel less awkward than if I’m sitting around waiting.
Once the show starts enjoy yourself. Like I said above: NO ONE CARES. They’re all there to enjoy the show.
Do things you love
This might sound silly to point out, but going to a concert solo for an artist I love is always going to be amazing, it just is! Whereas if I’m “take it or leave it” about an artist, that’s something I probably would rather go to with someone else so they can be part of enhancing the experience.
Of course, be safe
Be alert and be smart. Don’t walk around with headphones or look at your phone if it's late at night. Take the route where there are more people if you’re walking home alone.
During my solo trip to London, I texted my parents and a friend every night when I got back to the hotel room. It was nice to say “I’m back! Here’s what I did today!”
My parents also knew to contact that friend if they hadn’t heard from me, and vice versa.
Just do the damn thing.
Sometimes you just gotta do it and live through the awkward, uncomfortable, moments and get through it. Have I loved every solo experience of my life? No, of course not. But I’m usually glad I went, especially if the alternative was NOT going because I didn’t have anyone to go with.
If there’s something you want to do but you don’t have anyone to go with, listen to Nike and just do it. And let me know how it goes 💗
I’m a big fan of solo outings. Just last night I had dinner solo, had a drink at a bar and went to a live podcast. There is something pretty liberating in being comfortable in your own company!
I love the muscle memory analogy. In my 20s I got comfortable doing things on my own in college but now that I'm a mom to two, it feels weird! I'm out of practice.